i'm leaving in 2 days.. feeling a little scared, excited and scared. *sighs* i'm gonna miss my family and my friends!

had a farewell dinner on saturday with all my relatives and friends. my babes - alicia thong, priscilla, alicia cai, winnie and lynn. my good good buddy - loke! and not forgetting my sweetie! was quite an emotional dinner esp towards the end :(

received many nice prezzies and angbaos :)

went to play dota at hougang till 4am n reached home at 5 after sending my sweetie home! i totally freaked out cos' i thought i lost my video cam + the prezzies! *haha* they were actually in the car boot but i was too busy entertaining n loke and my hubbz was soo sweet to help me take care of them! [thanks :)]

//clumsy me// my uncle wraped this HUGE angbao with layers n layers of scotchtape and i tried like mad to open it. used abit too much strength and tore the money in it *wahaha* $150 torn 3/4 way :( -- all b'cos my uncle put in 2 tubes of mentos strawberry [my fav!] :)

pictures of the dinner to come in the next post. i need to pack my stuff badly  :) 

i'm so so so miserable :(

i hate this feeling. i just want to walk away with no regrets - is that hard to ask for?

maybe i should walk away and i'll then know whether i'll regret it or not!

i'm moving - do update my new blog url :) will let u guys know soon !

- sometimes love just ain't enough -

-a happier entry-

i'm leaving for australia in a few weeks time. suddenly, i want to go there alone. so there'll be no constraints. you may read this post but don't be offended. i'd miss you if ur not there. but u put too many constraints on me - no guy friends, no partying etc.

give me a break. besides you, i need my friends too :)

anyway, i'll miss s'pore and all but it's a whole new experience! i'm excited to go :)

i'll miss all my friends and family - i love you guys!

[a special note to a special someone - alicia] babe, i'll miss you so much! no more gossiping! and when i'm sad, i can't find anyone to talk to anymore. i recokn i'll have alot of problems there. *haha - we understand yah?* but well, you lead a happy life and do not let ur decisions sway with what others say. everyone gives their point of view as opinions but no one has the right to make the decisions for you. you are the bestest buddy i ever had and i'm soo sorry i can't be here for you physically but we can always chat one msn :) or better yet, come over to perth to visit me!! i love ya darling *hugs*

-a leopard never changes its spots-

no matter how much one may say he/she has changed, ultimately, in certain circumstances he/she is back to their fucking self. how true the saying

is giving in to ur other half a kind of love as well? sometimes its so tiring and u feel u no longer love him/her as much as u used to. maybe it's just at that point of time when ur just confused/angry/frustrated.

but the main problem is - trust. without trust, the relationship goes no where. maybe one should not be too suspicious but then again, as the saying goes. one lie leads to another and another -- "compulsive lying"

i've seen tons of people lying to their other half including my own case. it hurts so bad, yet u forgive but can never forget. the problem is being defensive when ur being accused. the more defensive, the more likely he/she is guilty of lying. and you can sense it if ur really close to the person.

as each day passes, i love you dearly. yet i don't feel the same for you anymore - because you will be you, u'll always be someone who i don't even know whether i can live with for the rest of my life.

changing to treat someone better is NOTHING GREAT. frankly, if u really want to change something about urself - change ur temper. it will get u no where. 

//ultimately, it should come from your heart. if you still have one.